The Demise of the Sock

The year is 2057. The scene is central London. People are going about their business in much the same way as we do today; they pop into shops, chat on street corners, hail cabs. Of course, there are a few noticeable differences. The gadgets are shinier, the air is smoggier, nobody is wearing socks.

Yes, you read that correctly: nobody is wearing socks. And no, this isn’t a new sockless trend that has swept the nation. It’s a simple necessity. The world has warmed to such an extent that no one has a need for socks anymore. It’s just too hot to be wearing a skin-hugging, foot-insulating blend of cotton and nylon within each shoe.

An unfortunate but unavoidable side-effect of this development is that the sock industry has all but collapsed, forcing many former sock factory employees to embark on new careers as climate change consultants. Of course, sock-wearing communities still exist in such remote places as the Outer Hebrides; however, even they have been flirting with the idea of joining the rest of the nation in ‘going sockless’.

A new freedom

In the national news, there are feel-good stories aplenty as individuals complete lifelong ambitions and realise personal pipe dreams. All made possible because they no longer feel burdened with the time-consuming task of pairing socks, or the debilitating worry of being seen in public wearing odd socks, or worse, holey ones.

By 2100, the V&A Museum will have opened a highly anticipated Sock Wing, where grandparents will take their young grandchildren to sold-out exhibitions including ‘Socks Through the Ages’ and ‘Socks of the 2000s’. Pointing at the different exhibits, grandparents will reminisce about particular models of sock and say to their grandchildren “believe it or not kids, everyone used to wear these”; at this, the children will laugh uncontrollably, as if that were the most ridiculous thing in the world.